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How to have Better Sex

Awakening our senses for greater sex 

By: Vanessa Chow (Sex and Relationship Coach / Counsellor)

When we think about sex, most people have the images of naked bodies, or the feeling of kissing and touching come to mind. However, these are just two of our five senses. Imagine what sexual experiences might feel like if we took full advantage of sight, taste, smell, sound, and touch all together. Sex should involve the whole body for a truly amazing experience. When we are attuned to the whole range of our senses, this becomes much more exciting and fulfilling. Here are some suggestions to incorporate all our senses into our lovemaking:


While men are especially visual, the sense of sight is also important for women. Setting the stage for intimacy will put you both in the mood for love. Arrange a candlelight dinner or light candles all over the room for a nice glow. Make the bedroom your stage for love play such as decorating with rose petals. Wear something sexy, or put on a costume to share your fantasies with your lover. Arouse him/her through your actions. Walk around with some sexy acts, like gently touching your own body or teasing your partner with your body. Spend time looking into each other’s eyes and telling your partner how much you love him/her.


Our tongue is very sensitive. We can have fun playing with taste and incorporating some into our sex routine. Have a romantic meal, order food associated with sex, such as oysters, asparagus and chili, and pay attention to the flavors and textures of the foods. Blindfold your partner, then feed him/her food with different tastes. Consider bringing food into the bedroom and feed each other, or even drizzle chocolate sauce or whipped cream on your lover’s body and have fun licking it all up.


Women are particularly sensitive to smells. During times of extreme arousal, our sense of smell can be heightened. Fill your room with the scents of musky, rose or lavender scents, which can relax our body and mind, and make us feel more sensual. Sprinkle rose petals in the bathtub and have a bath with partner as foreplay.


What would sex be without the sounds of love? Create a playlist with erotic and sexy music for lovemaking. Tell your lover over the phone what you’re going to do to him/her when you get home. Dirty talk is a great way to engage your ears and create anticipation. Whisper sweet words to each other. Share with your partner how you feel when he/she touches you. Let your partner hear how much he/she is pleasing you.


Touch is the most sexually satisfying of all senses. Discover your partner’s most sensitive areas and let your fingers and hand do the exploring. Awaken up your lover’s sense by blindfolding him/her, and using different materials and textures on his/her body, such as feather, silk scarf, ice, or warm massage oil. You can also stimulate your partner’s body with your tongue and lips.

Intimacy is an essential factor to maintain a happy relationship. Be creative and experimental with our sensory. Everyone can create a pleasurable sexual experience with our love one.

Contact Vanessa on 0412712633 for more tips or a personal consultation on creating this for you and your partner.